Lust or Love?

     Next time you look at the news, watch a t.v. show, a movie or view any other type of media, count how many times you see something sexually enticing, provacative or down right pornographic. Today's media is after one thing: money. The way they get it is playing on our base carnal instinct to be attracted to violence and sex. It's actually linked to our amygdala=the part of the brain stimulated by violence and sex. So the media plays on this knowledge against its viewers, and often beyond our perception or recognition. The sex portrayed in the media 9 times out of 10 is some type of fornication or adultery, or both. We are very influenced by what we watch. Studies have been done to show a link between viewing violence and acting more violent afterwards. This may not seem like a big deal to most people, but take a naturally violent person and have them view a violent movie or play a violent video game and they will be more likely to act violently. I seriously believe that these acts of serious violence in the past few years we have seen around the world are linked to the amount of violence those people allowed themselves to view to whatever degree. It wasn't just that they were psycho. I believe viewing pornographic or leud material of any kind at any degree will have a similar effect on us. The more you view something the more you think about it, so naturally it increases your likelihood of acting on those thoughts. The world's definition of love and true love are two totally different things. The world's definition of love 99% of the time is more lust than love.
     What is the difference between lust and love? The basic definition of lust is a self centered focus to fulfill self gratification. Love is selflessness or sacrificing yourself for the benefit of another. All of our problems in society today deal with a lack of love to one degree or another. Specifically speaking about lust vs. love we definitely need to understand the difference and stop believing the lies the media tell us.
     The world's philosophy says "do what makes you feel good." Lust fits quite nicely into that statement. Lust has no quams with abusing others or taking advantage of others in any degree or way as long as one's "needs" are met. And yes those "needs" are really just wants. We need connection and love. Marital relations fulfills that when done selflessly by both husband and wife. Yes we can, but shouldn't, even lust after our own spouse (D&C 42:23). The following scenario has happened to more couples than we probably realize. There was a couple on the first night of their honeymoon. The new bride was very tired and just wanted to sleep. The husband wanted to consummate the marriage and took that desire to the extreme in a seriously negative way and forced himself on his wife raping her. Yes this probably happens more than we think. And yes, it proves we can indeed end up lusting even after our own spouse. This is a serious problem.
     The problem is we don't understand the symbolism of marital relations. It has a symbol and a sacred purpose. Its purpose is to renew marital covenants to sacrifice yourself to your spouse when you get married; hence in multiple religions couples kneel across an altar and hold hands to symbolize that sacrifice and promise. Hence sex is a physical action depicting just that: taking the most sacred and powerful part of you and controling it in such a way to fulfill your spouses needs for love and connection. The point most people miss is that if both husband and wife are doing it right then both will enjoy the moment the most. This isn't meant to stop us from enjoying sex, it is meant to enhance our ability to enjoy it. Satan would have us believe that we are just animals destined to follow our instincts and just fornicate and commit adultery just because we can't control our sexual impulses. I beg to differ. We are children of God and it's up to us to control our actions by controlling our thoughts. If we have inappropriate thoughts, just replace them with good ones. Let's stop acting like we have no choices and have to succomb to our base instincts and continue acting like mindless animals that can't control ourselves. We are far more than that and it is time we started acting like it. It's up to us to get rid of pornography, fornication and adultery or else we will be punished severely for our actions. Sex is a power to create life, and we are stewards of that power fumbling along trying to use it the way God would want us to. We can and should do so much better.

The Law of Attraction and the Power of our Thoughts

     It's been about a year since my last post. Today I'd like to talk about The Secret everyone knows about by now. It's not really a secret, it's pretty basic and actually is found in a book of scripture well known to Mormons, The Doctrine and Covenants. It is the law of attraction taught in D&C 88:40, "For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light; mercy hath compassion on mercy and claimeth her own; justice continueth its course and claimeth its own; judgment goeth before the face of him who sitteth upon the throne and governeth and executeth all things." It is very similar to the law of the harvest, the law of the boomerang or karma, whatever you want to call it. The law of the harvest says what you do comes back to you. The law of attraction is more than what The Secret teaches. It's not just that we attract to us what we think about, but that we attract to us the same kind of people that we are. Like marriage, when I was single I was worried, too much at times, about the ladies I chose to date, instead of the man I was becoming and therefore the women I was attracting. We need to be more careful with our thoughts. This idea reminds me of the book As a Man Thinketh. Another quote it reminds of was by one of the prophets of the restoration that said something along the lines of, our thoughts turn to actions, our actions turn to habits, habits define our character, and character determines our destiny. We determine our destiny. Just like President Thomas S. Monson, current prophet, said, "The future is as bright as your faith" (April 2009 "Be of Good Cheer").
     To stress the point of how important our thoughts are, anciently Egyptians thought if they stopped thinking about the universe it would cease to exist. Scientists have discovered there are particles that exist only when we think about them. Of course when we study history, and especially our recent history, we see the power of the mind in all the inventions and discoveries men and women have accomplished.
     I'd like to end this post with something a bit controversial, and I know many people won't agree with my opinion, but who cares. I feel that our society has become way to lax with what is acceptable behavior. The current philosophy is "do what makes you happy." This philosophy is flawed in so many ways. In our politically correct stupidity we have sacrificed morals for tolerance, even apathy and in some cases anarchy. I believe in being tolerant, but ever since the 60's we have thrown out many morals. Pornography is a plague that has swept the world over, gays and lesbians are being more and more accepted as part of mainstream society, and drugs and premarital sex are rampant. Although we have progressed in many ways, there is still plenty of slavery in America and all over the world, there is still way too much racism and hate crimes, etc. We are on a very slippery slope and must change our mind set if we want to really progress and be better prepared to meet our Maker. I am a sinner like all of us are, and don't presume to make eternal judgments on anyone, gays or lesbians included. As David A. Bednar, one of the current 12 apostles has said, there are no gays or lesbians, just people that struggle with same gender attraction. The problem is not the struggle with same gender attraction but the real problem is identifying who you are with the body and not with your eternal spirit. Christ and Nephi didn't identify themselves with their bodies. They identified themselves with their spirits (2 Nephi 4:17, 27; 3 Nephi 1:14). The body is good, but it is susceptible to evil. Without the spirit the body is dead (James 2:26). We must not let the body control the spirit but the let the spirit lead. The body is the clothing of the spirit (D&C 138:43; Job 10:11). Just because we have bad tendencies, or inappropriate thoughts or feelings, doesn't mean we have to succumb to them. We need to stop believing the lies that Satan and our bodies tell us, acting like animals that have to obey every impulse or thought we get. The argument that "I was born this way," no matter what that pertains to (being gay/lesbian, wanting to steal, drink, smoke, etc.)  robs us of our agency and is a cop out Satan uses to lead us to not overcome what we can overcome because we are children of God after all.
     In the end we must realize that what we choose to think about for long periods of time becomes our destiny eventually. We are free to choose what thoughts and feelings we focus on and what actions we take. Scientists have proven we can rewire the brain through our thought processes. That's what psychologists do with their patients. We can do it on our own if we just choose to focus on good things and keep doing it until the negative thoughts no longer plague us. I know that with God's help and our good desires we can overcome anything that stops us from reaching our divine potential. If you don't have good desires, just pray to God and ask Him to change them (Alma 19:33; Mosiah 5:2). Let's stop acting like animals, just following our base instincts, and live above the mediocrity, and live up to our potential.